Intergenerational Connection: Cesar & Robert

Written By: Pate Jessop

When you think of intergenerational relationships you may think of angsty teens on TikTok saying “ok boomer” or exasperated grandparents sighing when they see participation trophies being handed out. These intergenerational relationships can be difficult to cultivate due to different life experiences and perspectives. Despite these challenges, they have the potential to be very meaningful and allow members of different generations to connect with and learn from each other. 

One example of a common intergenerational relationship is a student-mentor relationship. If correctly utilized, the student benefits from the mentor’s life experience and resources, and the mentor has the opportunity to look outside themselves and feel a sense of pride when their student succeeds. 

Successful student-mentor relationships begin when both parties have a common goal and are open to learning from each other. As they work together and accomplish tasks and meet goals, a meaningful relationship forms that becomes important to both student and mentor.

Cesar (a recent high school graduate) and Robert (a retired pharmaceutical professional) are an excellent example of a successful student-mentor relationship. They began their relationship with complementary goals: Cesar wanted to be the first in his family to go to college and Robert wanted a chance to ‘help a young person pursue university education.’ They were open to each other and worked together to confront the college application process.

Like many relationships, a student-mentor relationship has stages. During the first stage, they have a working relationship but it has yet to be tested and, as a result, is limited. It doesn’t have the depth of a meaningful relationship. 

The relationship moves into stage two with conflict or other difficulties. These push the relationship into rocky territory where it may still function but is often hampered by disagreements or apathy. 

Stage three begins when both parties care enough about the relationship to communicate openly with each other and work to improve the relationship. The realization of stage three brings the relationship into a better place than it was in stage one; the relationship is stronger than ever and both student and mentor feel more connected to each other.

Like most students and mentors, Cesar and Robert’s relationship began in stage one. Their relationship moved into stage two when Cesar was hurt deeply by something that Robert said and began to question their relationship. Although Robert was not trying to hurt Cesar and thought nothing of his comment, Cesar was crushed. 

Fortunately, Cesar valued their relationship enough to confront Robert. After an honest conversation they both shared their admiration for each other and successfully entered stage three by recommitting themselves to their relationship. 

This commitment continues to today. Cesar was the recipient of a Reach Up award this year. This award is given to students who show resilience in the face of tremendous challenges and who have shown grit and drive. 

Cesar will attend DeAnza college and then transfer to San Jose State to study business,  Although the prospect of transferring is daunting, Cesar feels confident that he can transfer with Robert’s help. 

Robert’s role as a mentor has gradually expanded from a mentor focused on the college application process to a general mentor. Cesar credits Robert for improving his financial literacy and ability to function in professional environments. He has learned how to ‘set money aside for upcoming bills and make spending cuts when necessary, as well as how to interact with older working professionals and organize his life using a personal calendar.’ 

Student mentor relationships matter. They are crucial to students’ success and have the ability to grow into close friendships that enhance the lives of both student and mentor. 

Because of their importance and potential The Reach Foundation invests in these relationships. High school mentors are trained weekly and students are held accountable for their efforts. Both have The Reach Foundation to support them to ensure that they’re set up for success.